Angel babies

My sweet angel babies are growing up! I look at them and want to cry at how big and happy they are growing to be. Seeing Locke fit into clothes that just look so huge and seeing Lil do "chores" now. It's almost too much. And when I look at the world around us, despite a lot of things, I just think how amazing the times they live in will be. This year, how many barriers were knocked down so that they will see it all happen. Nothing is impossible, it seems. That they will know people from all over the world, families of all different kinds, hear other languages all around... Lily has her own little life now. Friends. Conversations. She learns. She asks questions until I just stop answering because I can't explain one more time how traffic lights work.
And through all of this, I am just overwhelmed with guilt for maybe not being involved enough since I work. Will Locke remember me not being around or me being around? Does Lily think I'm a sporadic presence? Am I special enough to them? Am I prioritizing them below myself and what I want our standard of living to be? I feel so protective of them, but I'm not even with them 8 hours a day. And for a lot of the hours I am with them, we're all sleeping. I question every minute if I'm making good choices. Is that normal? I mean, I justify it by saying that I want the best for them, I want us to be able to provide every option they could want. I'm at a loss. And now, with our family in flux again... What will the future bring us? The Hemphills are looking for a road map.